A friend is moving to Nepal for 8 months and then to England for grad school. She just put her life in a storage container and it reminded me of all the places I have lived, all the stuff I have sorted discarded sold given away and held onto for some reason. And I look around my current home and think – what makes it home this time?
Cats paintings art brick-a-brac from travels books dvds music my Mac (which holds a lot of me) …except for the cats this is really just stuff.
I think for me it is more an energy that one creates in a space. A familiarity that generally comes with time but can also can happen instantly. Having moved to foreign lands a couple of times I can say that it is mostly a safe haven where I can stop wait think dream cry in private.
Thus far, you may have noticed, I have not included the people factor that can make a place home. And in fact, that is why it has been so hard for me to settle into Swedish life. My people, my home, is in Vancouver. It is now also in Stockholm, so I am torn in quarters wanting both at the same time. On my living room wall is a depiction of my life in Vancouver and my life in Sweden. A guitar hangs and represents is C, and a wire bodice is me (although in younger days). I know that going back to Vancouver is not a solution or even an option at the moment, but I really consider it home.
About 6 months ago, and for the first time since I moved here, I started to miss my people. Not friends, my people. My fellow Canadians. That they would understand my cultural references, and the fact that I worked on the Pickton pig farm case (Missing Women’s Task) is pretty impressive and interesting. That the phrase “you snooze you lose” is a cliché…that our thanksgiving is not in November…I started to crave so many things about the big HOME, my country.
So on Friday, C and I finally attended a Canadian Club of Sweden pub meeting. It was lovely. It was comforting. It was a slice of home. Maybe I can do this? Maybe I can survive here? And yet….
Tell me what home is to you. Where what who why it is so. Maybe this blog is going to be my new home?